Natasha Anguelouch Week #15: Appreciating our Memories
Recently I learned that a friend of mine lost her mother at a very young age. It made me incredibly appreciative of my own mother and curious about the role of memories in coping with loss. It seems to me that people most often discuss their valiant efforts to escape unwanted memories. We distract ourselves from the embarrassing, the traumatic, the disgusting and go to extreme lengths to rid ourselves of all. Thus, a less common but perhaps more interesting topic is the way people also find comfort and safety in memories. Those who have lost loved ones may “spend time” with them by flipping through photo albums or watching videos and reliving experiences from years long-past. Knowing that old family and friends are within (mental) grasp can provide a sense of security for people in mourning, though the benefits of this are lessened by the fact that memory’s natural tendency to fade over time can be a source of great distress, and at times painful recollections of deceased loved ones may overwhelm their grieving family members. Still, because of episodic memories, special moments we wish to remember--and those we would rather forget--remain accessible to us at any time. Though episodic memory is a double-edged sword, it is one I am grateful for. I personally am comforted knowing that though each day with my friends and family members is not guaranteed, in the event that the unthinkable occurs I will still be able to conjure them (mentally) in an instant. And, unfortunately, it appears that this formerly fairly lighthearted post has taken a depressing turn!
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Hi Natasha, your blog made me think of all the possible ways I could "re-live" specific memories. Holding on to specific memories could allow us to cherish them, and recalling them properly enough could allow us to almost perfectly recreate the entire moment all over again. Of course, there are also memories we way want to let go of; and although sometimes that may be impossible, that does not mean that the happy memories cannot overtake the sad ones.
ReplyDeleteHi Natasha,
ReplyDeleteI lost my dog a while ago due to cancer and that series of events truly taught me not to take advantage of the things that you have because you could lose them at any point in time. The memories are not just ones that come and go, they can occur at any given moment. Sometimes it is as simple as stepping over nothing at night and with all the lights off because I am used to being conscious of where I was walking while he was sleeping. Sometimes it is deeper than that. Memories can teach us important lessons.
Hi Natasha, I definitely agree with your stance on episodic memory. While at times memories can seem like a poor substitute for someone you have lost, they should still be cherished if possible, because there is no guarantee they will remain forever. Our minds are fickle things, and I think that the last thing anyone would want is to replace their feelings of grief and pain with regret over not having cherished their lost memories.
ReplyDeleteHi Natasha, I thought that the ideas you brought up in your blog about episodic memory and the importance of memory were very important. It is important to cherish your memories of your daily life and not take them for granted. I also liked how you mentioned that episodic memory is a double-edged sword.
ReplyDeleteHi Natasha, this is an interesting blog. It is true that memory allows one to recall loved ones, but it also lets them remember that their loved one is gone in the first place. Memory truly is a tool that can be both beneficial and harmful. It is a strange and enigmatic ability memory, and I can't wait to learn more about it.
ReplyDeleteHi Natasha, I am deeply moved by your blog, and I enjoyed reading it. As someone who possesses a faulty memory, I often look to photos to remember certain events. Photographs capture moments as if they were frozen in time; although they may not have any superficial value, looking back at these photos may bring back memories of the emotions and feelings during the time. Being able to access these memories allows people to reminisce on past events in their lives.
ReplyDeleteHey Natasha, I get what you said about us and our bad memories. I have recently learned that when we go through really traumatic experiences especially when we are young we tend to block out all recollection of these experiences. We toss them into a dark corner of the back of our brains so we can save ourselves from the pain.
ReplyDeleteHi Natasha, I agree with your explanation of how we overcome challenging moments. I think everyone tries to distract themselves from the emotions they are feeling by replacing them with something else. However, I also know some people that prefer to face their emotions head-on instead of distracting themselves. I prefer to distract myself with things that require me to stay focused so my mind can not drift into those hurtful emotions.
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