Natasha Anguelouch Week #11: Language’s Power Over Children
We are currently studying child development in my AP Psychology class. Perhaps the most fascinating thing about this complex unit is how distinctly the boundary between effective and ineffective parenting is defined by simple word choice.
If a caregiver says, “Would you like to turn the TV off?” complying becomes an option between going to bed and having fun. Most children obviously choose the latter and what follows is a vicious cycle of yelling, tantrums, and exasperated adults wondering why their brat refuses to listen. Parents who firmly but kindly tell their child(ren) to stop the show and go to bed may be met with defiance, but if they don’t waver they effectively establish boundaries and a clear understanding of who is in control.
I believe this basic principle can be applied to interpersonal communication in general because being precise with wording prevents a lot of unnecessary confusion; in other words (see what I did there?) precise diction can mean the difference between order and chaos. You may think I’m exaggerating, but have you ever seen a toddler shriek with rage because their parents banned the television?
There are labels for such parenting styles in the world of psychology: permissive caregivers essentially allow their children to take advantage of them, authoritarian parents are the other extreme and have too much fun with rule enforcement, and authoritative parents are the happy (and most effective) medium between mean and complicit.
At first it seems improbable that the differences between such greatly dissimilar communication styles mainly lie in language. But look at a teacher asking students to “please, maybe, if you want to” turn off their cell phones, the angry lifeguard shouting at swimmers to “stop running because I said so,” and the firm but fair mom telling her toddler to “wash your hands when I tell you to because this keeps you safe from germs,” and notice the vastly different responses they receive. Words matter!
Hi Natasha, I read your blog, and I find your topic on the art of language to be very interesting. When interacting with others, in addition to the words we speak, our tone, facial expressions, and body language are all important in contributing to how our message is received by others. A misuse of words can cause misunderstandings, while clever use of language can impose a positive impression on others. Therefore, the art in which we use language to express ourselves is very powerful.
ReplyDeleteHi Natasha, reading your blog made me realize how interesting psychology really is to me! And, I completely agree with the fact that the phrasing of words can give off different signals or intentions, which actually has a lot of power. For example, there is a difference between "You should have a calculator, if possible" and "You should have a calculator." The first sentence may let a person know that having a calculator is optional, versus actually having to have one. I hope this makes sense!
ReplyDeleteHi Natasha,
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting how a somewhat specific psychology concept can be applied to so much of life. I myself have seen the power of word choice in action, and I'd have to agree with your post's main point; people who are concise and decisive when communicating tend to make things go smoother overall. I think another interesting point is that this idea can be applied to our writing, too. In my experience, the argumentative essays I've written where my language was firm and concise have had a stronger persuasive effect.
Hi Natasha,
ReplyDeleteBeing in your psychology class, I have a good understanding of this matter as well! Thus, I completely agree with your stance on phrasing playing a big role in the child influence. I think this principle can be applied to other examples as well. If we watch tv shows, the child-parent connection and family life seem severely unrealistic towards modern day. However, the idea is the same. Usually, the parent is uninvolved with the child's life. As a result, the teen, typically between fifteen to eighteen years old, is out drinking, partying, and a lot more. This is majorly due to the fact that the parent is not there to set guidelines or discipline the child. The reckless behavior will likely continue to the rest of the child's life.
Hi Natasha, I have also learned about child development recently in my psychology class. I find your blog very interesting as it shows how words and communication of parents have such as big effect on children. Firm language might lead to defiance while asking a question like, “Would you like to turn the TV off?” gives the child a choice to decline the offer. Finding a good in between will help influence their child to develop good habits and have a safer life.
ReplyDeleteHi Natasha, I don't have psychology, but it seems really interesting. I know that words matter in parenting because I have seen exactly what you described from my little brother when he was a toddler. Word choice is less a decision of denotation and more of connotation. By choosing kind but firm words, often you can get what need with out the toddler-rage backlash. I have always loved learning. about psychology, and while I can't take the class, I'm glad you could teach me a little bit about it in your blog.
ReplyDeleteHey Natasha, This process and parenting style is something that I have seen first hand with my parents because in my family and most others the youngest being my little brother tends to get the permissive parent that walks over and diminished the parental authority while me and my older brother get a more authoritarian parent when we were younger. It shows through the parenting style how the three of us act. While me and my older brother are more disciplined and rule following my litter brother often likes to test the limits and challenge authority.
ReplyDelete